It goes without saying that it’s extremely helpful to adopt a mindset that values exploration and trying new and different things. Even if you only end up learning that you don’t like something, you have learned something important about yourself and you can use this new information to help you get where you want to go in life. Each new experience, positive or negative, brings with it new and vital knowledge you can use as stepping stones for the future. Think back to the last “big deal” you had to go through. Usually afterwards, we realize, “it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as we thought it would be.” And, if the truth be told, you probably have also increased your self-confidence by having another situation under your belt that you were able to handle successfully.
Sometimes when you’re trying to make a big decision, you can easily think that you have only one choice—either this or that. We easily make it an “all or nothing” situation when we don’t want to accept the current situation. For example, you can stay in a job you hate or you can quit and be unemployed. As you think about those options, you might add a few additional descriptors such as, “unemployed and starving to death” or “I’ll never be able to find another job.” From here, it’s very easy to mentally paint oneself into a corner and feel there is no way out and end up right back in big resistor # 2 from last week. The truth is there is always another option. Sometimes it can take a little brainstorming to come up with a list of possible solutions but rarely are you truly ever without any choices. Share your concerns with a few trusted friends and have a masterminding group to help you see beyond the limits of your own self-imposed vision of what’s possible.
5. Caring Too Much About How the Polls Are Trending
Another problem people face when contemplating change is that we tend to focus on external things to define our identity and worth (what kind of job we do, what kind of possessions we have, how much we make). People always ask us, “What do you do?” When we answer, our job is a huge part of our identity. A much more healthy way to address this is to focus on is the value of all the relationships we have and how we can help others – it’s really a wonderful symbiotic relationship. When you help someone (and see their appreciation or know that you are helping them) you feel good yourself – and it’s a more genuine feeling of contentment than buying the latest gadget. It provides us with a much greater sense of self-worth. For an amazing short presentation on this very idea, click here.
When I was a pastor, I attended many death bed vigils. I can tell you that every one of those people departed this plane of existence thinking about the people they have impacted and those who have touched their lives, and not about the corner office they had or the car they drove.
6. Chained to Material Stuff
It goes without saying that we cling to certain possessions, statuses, and perks we’ve been given along the way as some sort of safety net. People will “handcuff” themselves to jobs they hate with thoughts like “I’ll stay until I use up all my vacation days” or “I’ll stay until I’ve got my pension”. It’s the “I’ll stay until…” mentality. Many people won’t leave a job because of the promises of holidays, pension and severance pay. “If I leave I won’t get 3 weeks of vacation anymore.” Think about it. When you’re 80 years old, are you going to be happy that you wasted your life for a few weeks of vacation? Limiting thoughts like these keep us trapped in situations we don’t want to be in. Turn it around. If vacation really is important to you, bring it up in any interviews you go to. At least you won’t be letting a crutch stop you from facing the fear of change. It’s far better to keep the big picture in mind of what you really want out of life and to keep moving towards that, not getting caught in the mental safety nets along the way.
The worst part about being afraid of change is that you can end up settling for whatever happens. It seems less scary that way. The truth is that this is a far more frightening way to live because you don’t have the feeling of being in control of what happens to you and you live in fear of what might happen. Having the confidence to take action in the face of fear not only provides you with a sense of control, ultimately it will also provide you with a life full of purpose and joy. And isn’t that really what we’re all trying to achieve?
If you want to achieve great things or even just achieve inner peace, it will require stepping out of your comfort zone and trying something new. A great first step is would be to contact me for a 45 minute FREE life transformation strategy session.
In this session we will:
- Uncover hidden challenges that may be the cause of chaos, stress and discord in your life.
- Create a crystal clear vision for your “ultimate life” of tremendous success on your terms with ample quality time and energy for all your priorities.
- Leave the session renewed, re-energized, and inspired to transform your life and accomplish all of the things that are really important to you.
Click here to schedule your complimentary session!
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Dr. Steve Stutz, CC is a Life Success Coach, specializing in helping clergy and professional church workers not only survive but to thrive during periods of crisis, transition, and renewal. To receive periodic personal development tips and success mindset articles, please join his e-list by visiting www.forwardpathcoaching.com