Six Moral, Ethical, and Perfectly Legal Ways to Defeat Self Sabotaging Behaviors
In my coaching practice I spend a lot of time talking with clients about making conscious, positive, resourceful choices to empower them toward accomplishing their goals. The problem that quickly surfaces is not always doing something “new” but is sometimes a matter of ceasing to do things that are self-sabotaging. Here are some of the major self-inflicted wounds that I’ve run across and how you can avoid them.
One day I found myself in a room with several hundred highly creative and passionate entrepreneurs from around the world. There was a level of energy and expectation that rippled through the room as we waited for the conference to begin. From the lighting to the music being played to the pictures on the big screen of the previous night’s “meet and greet” social to the optimal ambient room temperature and the physical arrangement of the seating-everything had been carefully crafted to create an environment that would bring out exactly what the speaker wanted-which was to create a group of fully associated (i.e. “in the present moment”), highly energetic, and sharply focused individuals who were relaxed, playful, and ready to receive the presenter’s message.
As I got to know some of the very talented people in the room and the amazing things which they had accomplished, my “coaching” hat came out and I started to wonder about “creativity” and “passion.” How does creativity begin? Does it start as a dream? Does a light bulb suddenly appear over your head? Or is there something specific you can do to spark your creativity and passion.
When I am writing, or giving a presentation, or even just having a chat with someone waiting in line to check out at the store, a key principle that I try to impart is my belief that all of us have the capacity to live lives that are truly remarkable. While everybody CAN lead an extraordinary life, unfortunately, most of us DON’T come close to achieving what we are truly capable of.
One of my favorite resources, and one that I often use in workshops or with private coaching clients is the fantastic book “The Success Principles” by Jack Canfield. He gives over sixty different principles which can be especially helpful to anyone who is interested in improving their life, relationships, finances, health, and a number of other items.
While I don’t have space to go over all of his principles, I’ve picked out a few that I think will make a huge impact, in the least of amount of time, with the least amount of effort on your part. Here’s my “Top Five” Canfield Success Principles:
Want To Meet Your Deadlines, Get Your Boss or Spouse Off Your Back, and Enjoy The Rest of Your Day? Try These Seven Steps to Overcoming Your Internal Resistance and Defeating Procrastination Now!
So, I’m FINALLY getting around to doing this piece on procrastination…
Procrastination, at root, is a choice. I really do have the ability to take the trash out to the curb the night before trash day, but I choose to watch TV instead. I am perfectly capable of returning my phone messages, but I choose to check my Facebook and Twitter accounts and then go for coffee. I could have done this article four months ago when some friends asked me to, but I chose not to do so.
Whether it’s doing your chores, writing your dissertation, or renewing your driver’s license, it seems that most of us need to experience an elevated level of pain before we take action to get it done. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just program ourselves to do the right thing at the right time?
Why does it have to hurt before you are willing to do something about it? There’s really no reason that I keep postponing things other than…
One question that often comes up in coaching sessions is how to motivate yourself to do the things that you know you must do to achieve your goals and dreams.
Any coach will tell you that taking action, whether massive, overwhelming action or small, consistent, daily action towards your dreams and goals is vital to getting what you want. Along with proper planning and the drive to succeed, those that take action are the ones that see results. However, we all know that after the coaching session ends, despite all our best intentions, it’s not always easy to stay consistent and build momentum.
How do you motivate yourself to continue working toward your goals, especially when you face challenges?
Although some strategies will motivate you more than others, it’s good to experiment with several different ways of finding your motivation. Then, when the chips are down, you can depend on one of these strategies to get back on track.
To start with, read through the following techniques and see which ones might best address your current needs. They’re all good techniques, but you’ll need to be the final judge on which ones to try out on yourself to ensure that you take action.
One of the questions I ask people who inquire about coaching is, “Are you ready to jump in and take massive, focused, consistent action to make it happen?” You’d be surprised at how non-committal some folks can be when I simply lay it out there like that. Many people are “interested” in the “idea” of life change, provided that it’s something that won’t inconvenience them or cost them much money.
Fortunately, I also tend to run into a good number of people who are extremely committed, but for whatever reason tend to run into difficulty when the time comes to actually “do it. ” Maybe this has happened to you as well. You’ve made a commitment to pursue something and the next thing you know your mind is full of questions and doubts, things like: “What if I’m really too old to “start over” in my life?” “I don’t see how I could possibly be creative enough to make money doing what I love.” “I’ve tried to lose weight in the past, but I’ve never kept it off. I’m just going to do the same thing again, so why bother?” And before you even get started, you’re defeated.
This “self-sabotage” is important issue to address and it’s one that I’ve written about in the past. Click here read what I had to say about it and how you can overcome its grip on your life.
One of the key tenets of NLP (neurolinguistic programming) is that if one person can do something, anyone can learn to do it. I want to assure you that you can begin right now to consciously redirect the next phase of your life in whatever direction you’d like to have it proceed.
Here’s how to get started:
Dr. Steve Stutz, CTACC is a certified Life Coach, spiritual director, and conference/ workshop speaker. He lives in the Houston, TX metro area and specializes in the helping people sort through the complexities of modern life to discover their passions, gifts, and personal style.